To shed some light on childhood abuse, or, as we say, bullying, I have tried to explore some truths without which it might not have existed.
Of course, the truth is that CHILDREN are at a time when aggression plays a dominant role, and a child would not survive without it. Children are rather violent and aggressive. Moreover, this aggression is completely justified.
From the point of view of adapting to the environment, aggression is an ability to overcome the lack of comfort in the world.
Let’s start with adaptation to temperature changes and various sensations, which can only be dealt with by actively overcoming them (hunger – to eat, cold – to put on clothes, to look for a comfortable place, pain – to ask for help, etc.). These seemingly uncomplicated actions are triggered by aggression alone.
The ability to communicate with the outside world, establish rules, subordinate, achieve one’s own, and strive for results is no less significant. And all this is an activity of the mind, which will not appear and will not exist without aggression. If the child does not develop the skill to use aggression as a resource for action – things are not going well, and we are raising a maladapted.
A child’s ability to regulate or control his aggression and to recognize the aggression of others depends on the level of consciousness, which is the primary regulator. Of course, the child intensively develops the ability to be aware only of actual objects and to recognize their purpose. This so-called everyday consciousness, unfortunately, cannot control mental states by any means.
Consequently, by the age of 15, a child will not form a form of consciousness that allows him to cope with his aggression and direct it to mastering the world and achieving results.
It will always be the case. Thus, aggression is necessary for the child. Otherwise, it will not survive and will disappear. However, what transforms a child’s aggression from a form of development and self-preservation into a total humiliation of the other? Equally important in knowing and understanding bullying is the truth of Nurturing.
Initially, for the world around parents and us, childhood is the emergence of a child, a new life and a new person. Just as importantly, a child’s childhood is the happiness of two people who have gained the status of parents and the right to touch the mystery of human life.
And, of course, childhood is an encounter with total suspense, uncertainty and imminence.
After all, there are no guarantees as to exactly who this little person will grow up to be and what will happen to him in terms of time, events and the changes that life naturally entails.
The problems of child development, of which child abuse is the cornerstone, emerge precisely in the outlines of the suspense, uncertainty and imminence that confront the “lucky owners of a new human life”.
After all, the unknown lurks not only in the child, but also in the one who is the parent.
Consequently, there will always be a violent manipulation against one’s naturalness, nature, and truth. Its intended purpose is to destroy, to annihilate.
In content, this manipulation can be called the “love trade”. In this way, parents, by “changing” the child through education, turn love into a “bargaining chip”, which they pay to the child only when he denies himself.
As a result, the child is being “exterminated”, defining a definite form of survival, namely aggression (to survive) and its manifestation, violence (as an attitude towards another). Consequently, children’s violence is always justified because it has necessarily been stimulated from the outside.
To summarize the above, we find that:
And all of this forms the child’s compulsive search for approval and their request for recognition of the strongest…
<< Back to the list of articles
